Friday, April 17, 2009

You have got to be kidding me???

Well, not that anything should surprise us in this day and age of frivolous lawsuits and such, but I could not believe the following.

I am one of those water buffalo types that consumes a lot of water on a regular basis. A normal day finds may drinking about a full gallon of water. Sometimes, to break up the blandness, I'll add some Crystal Light or other sugar-free mix to my Nalgene bottle. I was feeling especially economical at a recent shopping trip and went for the generic Safeway brand "Shake N' Run" instead.

(Side note: When I get bored, I read; I read everything, signs, instructions, labels, etc. This being a Friday, and me being overdue for a vacation, and it having been a long several weeks at the office, I am ready to get out of here and concentrating is difficult.)

I made the mistake of reading the "Directions" on the packet of lemonade I was about to mix into my water.
Take a sip from a 16.9 fl oz bottle of water (500ml) if bottle is filled to the top. Empty contents of one packet into the bottle of water. Shake well until dissolved. Packet can be mixed into a 20 fl oz bottle of water for a lighter flavor. Also great when made with tap water.
Now, overall, pretty basic instructions, but I'm a smart-ass and was mentally retorting as I read.
  • "Take a sip from a 16.9 fl oz bottle of water" - What if it is 16.8 fl oz, or 17? Why does it have to be 16.9? What about that whole sip thing? I guarantee one of my "sips" is about quarter bottle! I AM a very big man! What then?
  • "Packet can be mixed into a 20 fl oz bottle of water for a lighter flavor" - Really? Not a 18 fl oz bottle? What about a 32 fl oz bottle that is not full? I mean come on, gimmie some options here! I feel so restricted!
  • "Also great when made with tap water" - Really? Tap Water? Is there a special container that I need to use? Should it be filtered? Is it okay to include ice?
I know, I warned about the smart-ass thing, right? Well, I did manage to get through this brain wracking dilemma and enjoy my sugar free drink mix.

For those of you still concerned, I opted for the partially full 32 fl oz Nalgene bottle with an appropriate number of ice cubes to chill it to MY specifications.


  1. (First I must say - I didn't realize you were following my blog, your comment made me squeal in excitement despite that it was generic neopolitan ice cream. Boo.)

    AT ANY RATE. Those bastards are pretty particular about their mixins, I'm proud that you opted for an amount that they did not suggest. Just to spite those tricky assholes. That's why you're my lurve.
    ... Did it have a taste at that point, though? And have you tried Special K's Protein Water mix-in things? I was given one by a friend, have yet to attempt. If it doesn't kill you though, I will know.

  2. Neapolitan is good stuff, but I'm still partial to the chocolate overload thing...

    For the record, I've been following your blogs for sometime now. If you recall, this is the guy who whined at all the blogs you and "M" made private?!?!

    But yes, it did in fact have flavor, and was a little lighter, which was fine since all I wanted was water with more flavor than, well water. You should go read the one about the Pope. I'm still giggling... Lurve you!

  3. I'm not big on chocolate ice cream, so doesn't do much for me BUT! How do I follow your blog?! You've got the .com thing happening, instead of blogspot? I guess I should try it before I question, I'll report back. VERY EXCITED.

    Also should be noted that I believe I'm following my OWN blog, so that should tell you how little I understand about bloggers following tool. Haha.

    The Pope one was magnificent, I'm going to have to sift through all of your blogs I've missed now. WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN ALL OF MY LIFE. (You had me at hello, too.) (Any other cliches to throw in... I'll find them.)


Please be respectful of mine and others opinions, but in doing so, please feel free to add your own. in short, "Don't be a dick!"